Whirlwind
by Muse-at-dawn
Summary: Since you woke up to this new life you've felt confused, thrilled, pleased, guilty, ashamed and scared, but now, thanks to Stefan's words you can also feel protected. Spoilers for 2x02


**Disclaimer: Nothing's mine.**

**Claim: Caroline/Stefan. One sided at least, also a tiny, almost nonexistent mention to Delena.**

**Warnings: Spoilers for "Brave New World" 2x02**

**Summary: **_Since you woke up to this new life you've felt confused, thrilled, pleased, guilty, ashamed and scared, but now, thanks to Stefan's words you can also feel protected._

**Notes: I'm officially a shipper of Stefan/Caroline. Right, I also like Caroline with Matt but let's be honest, now that she's a vamp it's gonna be quite difficult for them to be together like they once were. Plus, anything that can open the door for Delena is pretty welcomed by me, and I've read some very interesting stuff concerning Delena so I'm quite optimistic. **

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_Tell me why I feel so alone cause I need to know to whom I owe._

_"Conspiracy" - Paramore_

**Whirlwind**

You were not entirely sure how to feel. You knew you were pissed off because of what's happened to you, you knew you were upset and angry because it was way too hard to resist having Matt's neck so close to your teeth, or rather, fangs, without wanting to stick them to the pulse you saw, the place where the blood flows.

You knew you were sorry for the human being you killed because you felt thirsty, or is it hungry? It didn't matter, what mattered was feeling that instinct, that something you couldn't even recognize taking over you and watching helplessly as you bounced your body over the man whose only sin had been being in the wrong place, wrong time, and drank from his blood. What made things worst was the fact that despite feeling guilty you also found that taste very pleasurable. It tasted way better than the blood you stole in the hospital.

It was definitely ambigous, a part of you was glad of what you've now gotten because there were some really wonderful perks out of this 'being a vampire' stuff, like compelling people to do what you liked or getting the deepest satisfaction of throwing Damon away from you, letting him know that you remembered how awfully he treated you once. All that was awesome and you felt slightly thrilled.

But then came the terrible hunger and the awareness of not wanting to hurt people you loved. You didn't really want to hurt that man in the first place but the hunger was too much and you felt so weak. He tried to fight back but how could he? You were stronger than himself, the battle was over before it had even started and when you were done and saw what has left of him you felt sadness washing over you.

Damon's words made you felt scared. No, you don't want to die, you're scared of dying. And even if you knew you should have suspected his real intentions you let yourself indulge in the need of feeling comforted, even if it were for just a few minutes. Then, when Stefan and Elena appeared and he threw the stick out of Damon's hand you felt slightly confused and grateful for he had saved your life somehow.

It didn't make things easier their little argument about how hopelessly doomed you were. And Damon wanted to kill you right then and there. Why? What have you done to him? Why had Katherine done that to you in the first place? You were happy being human, sure, you were insecure and a little bit envious of Elena, but this? Thanks to Damon you were blind about the whole vampire stuff. And even if you hadn't been, you're sure you would've never wanted this to happen to you.

"Damon, she's my friend."

And you saw it, the only reason you were still alive was because Damon wouldn't do anything to upset Elena. You saw it in the way he hesitated trying to find the right arguments to talk her out of acting as a shield to you.

"Whatever happens, it's on you."

A sudden rush of gratitude ran through your veins. That was, until you saw Bonnie who looked at you in utter shock and denial, trying to convince herself that there was another reason for the blood on your face other than you being a vampire.

"Caroline? No you're not, you can't be..."

It hurt the way she threw your hand away, almost as if she were suddenly disgusted with you. It made you feel utterly confused, had everybody known so far about the existence of vampires? Why hadn't your friends talked to you about it? At least all the secrecy seemed to make some sense. Now you were part of it.

You were already sobbing by the time Stefan and you reached the bathroom. You were still processing the fact that your best friend hated you for having become something you had totally forgotten about. Life was so unfair. Stefan was there, trying to reassure you and trying to clean your face. You listened to the words but they didn't make sense, not really. There was a lot going on in your head, you needed to know why, was there any reason for Katherine turning you into a vampire? Who was this Katherine? Why was she almost like Elena's twin? What had you done to her? Had she really gone that far just because she wanted to play with the Salvatore brothers? And the thing on your face. Why did that keep happening?

Lots of questions, enough to drive any person insane. And that was how you felt then, crazy, a monster, a killer, there was just too much and you had never felt more unprepared. You cried and sobbed and felt Stefan shaking your arms, telling you to look at him.

He was there in that bathroom with you, asking you to look at him, explaining you how the blood process was and teaching you how to calm yourself so to make what you liked to think as 'an awful mask' disappear, hushing you and cupping your face in both his hands. It felt good, so good that you could finally relax and let out a deep breath, feeling the tears streaming down your face, that plus the dampened paper towels Stefan had used to clean up your face had surely ruined your makeup, but that wasn't important, not in that moment anyway.

In that moment you wondered if he knew Katherine's motives. He didn't and that made you feel slightly disappointed. You were still fearing that you might probably get killed by Damon or something. Your life had been taken away so suddenly, there was no way you could have anything normal. You couldn't go out during the day or else the sun would burn your skin. And the hunger was a lot to deal with. You felt like crying again. You were so scared, so confused. Nothing was like it had once been. You went from being Caroline Forbes, daughter of Mystic Falls sheriff, Miss Mystic Falls, girlfriend of Matt Donovan to Caroline vampire, a monster who drank other people's blood and kill them or compelled them.

That was a transition you weren't prepared for and if you weren't careful enough maybe Damon would get his way and kill you. The idea of dying scared you a lot. The idea of being left alone in this whole mess scared you as well.

"I promise you I will not let anything happen to you."

There was something in Stefan's eyes that made you believe. He, unlike his brother, didn't want you dead and here he was, the 'man' you had once fancied making you a promise that meant the world to you. The gratitude you felt couldn't be explained in words so you let him hold him closer and it felt somehow right, even if he wasn't yours, because he was sincere, he would protect you, even from his own brother.

And for the first time since you woke up to your new life you felt something you hadn't felt before in the whole day: you felt protected and loved.


End file.
